If you have ever driven a motor vehicle you have experienced a “blind spot” moment: You have looked in the mirror before pulling out or changing lanes, only to suffer a heart stopping blaring of hooters and even squealing tyres. Somehow, you had looked, seen it was clear and made your move – only to find out it really wasn’t clear. We learn from such moments – to look twice, to glance over our shoulder, and to be extra cautious. We may forget from time to time, but generally we have become aware of the danger. As our driving skills develop, we learn to be continually aware of where we are on the road, in order to ensure our safety. We will watch that car at the intersection ahead to make sure it is not pulling out in front of us, and check behind, looking for vehicles approaching too quickly, or trying to overtake on the wrong side of the road.
Of course there is always that small percentage of drivers who learn a different lesson: That others will try to avoid the collision. And so they become bullies, driving fast, swerving aggressively, sometimes flashing hazard lights – letting everyone know that it’s better to stay out of their way.
Learning to drive performance at work can lead to similarly scary unintentional collisions or intentionally aggressive carelessness. Wise leaders, like wise drivers, learn over years to be aware of where others are on the organisational journey, and to manage their own impact on those around them. After much practice, this awareness becomes automatic, creating that wonderful ease with which experienced leaders navigate their way through demanding situations.
Blind spots at work are seldom lethal, but they can certainly constrain effectiveness and leadership. Recognising them and responding constructively to them can be one of the most productive forms of leadership development. Unfortunately our personal rear-view mirrors are far less clear than those on our cars so most of us need help to see our impact on others.
As I facilitate feedback sessions helping people to learn from 360° assessments, I find that the section of the report dealing with blind spots is often a very rich source of insight and learning. This section highlights those competencies where participants rate themselves more positively than others do.
For example, participants may rate themselves as extremely competent at listening to others, receiving feedback, or holding their team members to account, only to discover through the 360° assessment that others feel quite differently.[1]
The first learning comes from this discovery. Just like the furious hooting on the highway, it can be quite a shock to learn that others experience you in a way quite different to your own self-image. It is natural to be surprised, and even disappointed, but unless you simply deny or reject the feedback, you have at least learnt something.
The real learning comes from what happens next. Ideally the response will happen at two levels.
The first response is to deal with the issue at hand. You may have learnt, to your surprise, that your colleagues experience you as being unsupportive, that they feel you don’t listen well, and are not open to feedback from them. This is a gap that can be bridged if you are committed to the process. A good coach or mentor can help you to learn to listen intently and non-defensively; to take in what people say without interrupting, and to think about the feedback rather than just reject it. It’s a skill that requires a change in behaviour over time, but one that can definitely be learnt.
There is a second level of response that is deeper and even more rewarding. It comes from recognising that there is not just this one issue, but that we continually need to be aware of how others see us. I am who others experience me to be – not who I think I am deep inside.
Years ago I coached a man who had applied for a promotion in the NGO where he worked. He came to me in a state of near shock, having been told that he deserved a promotion, but first he had to learn to stop bullying his staff – which is not at all how he saw himself. As we worked over a few sessions, it became clear that he was so committed to the economic justice programmes in which he was involved, that he became impatient with meetings, and debate and strategy sessions. He knew what needed to happen and just handed out instructions with a clear message that this work better get done on time. He saw himself as a lone warrior in the war against inequality. Others experienced him as a bully.
As his insight into this dynamic dawned, he realised he could get more done with self-assured team members than with resentful foot soldiers, and committed to learning to behave differently.[2]
It is quite ironic that “self-awareness” is the name we give this ability to understand how others see us when in fact it is rooted in paying attention to the reactions and perceptions of those around us. If we aspire to leadership, this ability is essential, unless we are to rule by fear, like those aggressive drivers on the highway, flashing lights and brushing other cars aside. To lead is to empower others, to support their growth and productivity, and to have their respect when there is a need for course correction or difficult conversations. We are not likely to achieve this if we have no understanding of how they experience us from day to day.
We can and should engage in a process of continual self-reflection – asking ourselves: “How did that go? How did other people feel?” Our sensitivity to what others are experiencing will grow. In the end, though, we also need to be able to ask. Feedback, honestly given and openly received, is simply the best way to learn. The “lone warrior” that I coached was lucky enough to work in an organisation that was able to provide that feedback in a supportive way. Being open to the message, and willing to rise to the challenge, was a testament to his emotional intelligence.
Companies wanting to cultivate self-awareness amongst their employees, and especially their leaders, need to find ways to help them receive feedback in the right way, and then support them to respond. Blind spots are a great place to start.
Has receiving feedback from others helped to increase your self-awareness and facilitated your development? Please share your experience with us.
Thornhill can help to develop effective leaders and improve their performance through 360° feedback.
For more information on Thornhill’s various products and services for all levels within your organisation, please contact us on admin@thornhill.co.za.
[1] There will always be minor differences between self-ratings and the ratings of others, and these may not be significant. Part of the role of the feedback coach is to judge when the differences are large enough to pay serious attention to them.
[2] Some details have been changed for reasons of confidentiality.